Jesse W. received 30 free minutes for this submission!
3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".
The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.
The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.
The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter.
Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.
He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".
We gave Sarah 30 minutes for sending this one in!
These three women were roommates.
One night they all had all gone out on dates
and all came home at about the same time.
The blonde said, "You know you've been on a good date
when you come home with your hair all messed up."
The brunette said, "No, you know you've been on a good date
when you come home with your makeup all smeared."
The redhead said nothing, but reached under her skirt,
removed her panties and threw them up to the ceiling, where they stuck.
She said, "Now THAT'S a good date!"
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