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Ashlee Simpson's breasts suggest a case of pregnantitis in the uterus sector
Source: www.thesuperficial.com
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In case you can't tell by the headline, this post will tackle deep medical issues using the most scientific of terms. For realz. N/J. Every once in a while The Sun drops an expose that shakes the very field of journalism to its core. Today they examined the size of Ashlee Simpson's breasts in relation to her sister Jessica and whether that size suggests Pete Wentz busted a baby up in that ass. I feel humbled to be in the presence of such a report:
Ashlee, who got engaged to rocker boyfriend PETE WENTZ last month, has recently been subject of rumours surrounding a possible pregnancy. But the eye-catching size of her bust pictured above will only increase speculation, as it looks like she's developed a pair of CHRISTINA AGUILERA-style pregnancy boobs.
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Dear Pulitzer Committee,
As an esteemed member of your establishment, I'm writing to gracefully request you withhold my Pulitzer and award it to the investigative team at The Sun. Not only did these brave individuals address the tough issues of how pregorific are Ashlee Simpson's milk cannons, but they went the extra mile to compare her to Christina Aguilera. I like to believe their work speaks for itself, however, I could not sleep peacefully at night unless I did my very best to ensure their groundbreaking reporting was recognized.
Please, search your hearts and soul while weighing this monumental decision. And, also, take into account the true litmus test of any journalistic endeavor: OMG BOOBZ!
Semper Fi Mammarus,
The Superficial Writer
There Is A Pre-Nup????
Source: www.perezhilton.com
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Was Mariah Carey smart enough to get a prenup made in time for her "impromptu" wedding?
Her accountants can breathe a sigh of relief!
It seems like her lawyers took care of business!
According to insiders, Mariah told a friend "Anyone who thinks we didn't have a prenup is smoking something!"
Poor Nick Cannon Carey. He won't be entitled to much of anything that Mariah has once they file for divorce.
Thankfully, Mariah thought ahead! She probably learned her lesson after getting divorced from douchebag Tommy Mottola.
Mimi's raking in the millions now and she needs to keep it in her bank. She's had three hit albums since her divorce in the '90s. She has several millions invested in real estate. She owns her own perfume line. Oh yeah, and she also gets publishing rights since her name is on every song.
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As for the wedding, Mariah was walked down the aisle by her cousin, Shawn McDonald.
According to insiders, when Mariah and Nick return from their honeymoon, they plan on having a large party. And perhaps even a second ceremony.
Who cares about the party, though.
THANK GOD she got a prenup!
Elisha Cuthbert brings nougaty bikini-ness to your boring ol' Thursday
Source: www.thesuperficial.com
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I love the stars of 24 and their heroic, undying dedication to patriotism. You've got Jack Bauer himself Kiefer Sutherland who singlehandedly keeps the good people at Jack Daniels in business. Then you've got his TV daughter Elisha Cuthbert who graces us with some soft-on-the-eyes bikini goodness. You don't get more American than this. Unless they were both eating apple pies and punching a Native American in the nose. If that were the case, we'd be obligated to stand up and salute our monitors. U.S.A.!
Do you have any juicy gossip' Have you heard something we should know' Do you disagree with what I said' Agree with me' I want your comments and feedback on anything – I will select my favorite comments I receive from you and post them here. samsan@adultrental.com
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