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review courtesy of thepornreviews.com
Each week I will review a film - but not your typical movie review! I will give you MY reasons for picking it, MY reasons for judgment and MY reasons for liking/disliking it. I will pull no punches and tell you how it truly is. Unlike other news media, I don't work for the studios so I have no vested interest in kissing their ass!
Movie: Pornolympics, The Anal Games
Director: JF Romagnoli
Performers: Gina Blonde, Veronica Sanchez, Jeny Baby, Lea Lexus, Jasmine Rouge, Adrianna Rouso, Kathia Nobili, Terri Summers, Simony Diamond, Sai-Tai Tiger, Honey Winter
Length: 1h 10m.
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Review: The Olympics came and went, and along with it, all of the hype, excitement, and bravado you would expect from an international competition also came and went. We had sent our best, our quickest and strongest, in hope for metallurgic glory - but let's be honest here, the Olympics, as always, was boring as hell! We all knew it, we all know it, we are all in denial of it. Of course, some dude running a hundred meters under 10 seconds is impressive, no doubt about it, but that's 10 seconds of entertainment proceeded and followed by weeks of bullshit; all of your regular shows are cancelled and to top that off, you have legions of douche bags going on and on about bizarro sports that they know nothing about. The worst part of it is that you're expected to go along with the hoopla, wave a flag and grin like an idiot. Straight up, there's only one event worth watching: women's gymnastics (for obvious reasons). I say simplify. I say cut out all of the nationalistic grandstanding and just have fit hotties vault fat-headed man-poles. I say swap out the 200 meter dash for the 1 centimetre gash and cram it full of athletic long-bodied schlongs. I say put the ass back into these ancient Greek games. Sports are fun, sure, but dirty sex is dirty sex.
Continue Reading for the full-scene breakdown |
Scene 1:
We have a triathlon but instead of the usual running, swimming, and biking, we have team effort blowjobs, serial lesbian ass eating, and a messy outdoor gangbang.
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Scene 2:
This scene features a gym full of smoking hot babes being judged for their cock gulping, dick riding, and facial taking abilities. And naturally, with a title like this one, anal sex earns the gold. No girl is too cutie and no sphincter is too tight for the raunchy royal treatment, and believe it or not, these cutie pies love it, every widening inch of their chosen sport.
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Scene 3:
More Anal! Simply stated, there are two kinds of backdoor beauty, one that permits you to fuck them in the ass, and one that requests it. Both are good, but obviously the latter is fair better. It's the difference between the lady in question being still in the sack, waiting for the finisher, to her being active in the sack, bucking your junk deeper and deeper, her eyes rolling back in ecstasy all-the-while. In all honesty, The Pornolympics features both types, but only the second kind takes home the gold, and in grand porno fashion, the medalists far outnumber the other participants.
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Scene 4:
Perhaps my favourite scene, we have half a dozen darlings being butt-spiked with avengeance, each perfect 10 stubbornly sheathing a monstrous two-handed broadsword. Judges closely inspect the action and score their cards. How these adjudicators manage to keep a straight face is beyond me. Finally, after a-many hole is destroyed, a winner is declared. Mark my words, this is one competition where not only the losers are sore& if you catch me meaning.
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Scene 5:
Here's the comic relief. The Asian Broadcaster, our narrator, gets to suck a big schlong while she's on the air. Everybody loves a cum drenched anchor woman.
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OverallThe Pornolympics, The Anal Games lives up to its promise of world class buggery. Top Marks.
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