Christina Aguilera took her breasts out for a walk today while visiting in New York City. Last night she cleverly used infant son Max Liron to ward off paparazzi. I feel sorry for the kid but not because he's a human shield. The little tyke must sit around all day staring at his parents, thinking "How the hell do I even exist? These two? Intercourse? Ha! I'm adopted. Oh, shit, she's trying to suffocate me with her chest balloons again. For the last time I'm lactose intoler- help! Oxygen low... Brain cells fading... NASCAR suddenly more interesting...."

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Kelly Osbourne propositioned by Axl Rose
Source: www.thesuperficial.com

Axl Rose reportedly came on strong to Kelly Osbourne at a party. Designer Richie Rich watched the whole thing go down and couldn't believe the crap coming out of the 46-year-old singer's mouth, according to OK! Magazine:

"He was really weird with her," said the Heatherette fashionista at a party for the launch of the new Tide and Downy Total Care washing liquid. "He kept leering at her and saying, "I want to f*** you!"

"I want to fuck you." Axl Rose, everybody. World class Casanova - if it were 1985.

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Christina Ricci in a bikini
Source: www.thesuperficial.com

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Christina Ricci hit the beach yesterday with her boyfriend Kick Gurry. Kick? Note to self: Change name to "Chop Samson." Purchase water-bed, five barrels of Cool Whip, cape. Prepare for all the sex with Christina Ricci. End note..

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